THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN MY CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED

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  It has been more than four years since I dived into the world of autism .  This remarkable journey has taught me that life is anything but " PREDICTABLE" . Its more like a chaotic blend of sounds and colors, where each day you can create a new Masterpiece. 

It wasn't the same on the day of diagnosis.. The diagnosis really pierced my heart , flooding it with grief and uncertainty. The therapy jargons became so overwhelming and I desperately looked for help and support. Looking back to my own path, there are several things I wish I knew when I received the diagnosis. While every parent's journey is unique , yet some experiences are universal and each of us can resonate with :-

1 ) Your Child is still the same wonderful person :- You will leave with the same little boy from the doctor's office , you walked in there with. Autism is just an aspect of their identity ( a very important one mind you ) but a diagnosis doesn't define them entirely. celebrate the child you have in hand.

2) Autism is not an enemy :- Stop waging war against autism, Its not something you can defeat or a demon you need to exorcise . Its A part of your Child's neurology. accept and embrace the quirks.

3) Throw  the developmental milestone booklet out of window :- Autism Doesn't come with a manual or a timeline . your child will develop at its own pace and not on the pace you want them to . Don't believe the doctors or therapists who give you a developmental window , It simply doesn't exist. your child will continue to learn and grow every single day irrespective of his age.


4) Don't rely too much on DR GOOGLE :- while educating yourself about autism is the most empowering thing you can do as a parent , googling everything is a bad idea. Lots of misinformation and quackery exists there which preys on the vulnerability of the parents. Don't fall for magical pills or tonic. 


5) Self - care is non -negotiable :- Yes Momma, You cannot pour from an empty cup. Its not a 100 meter sprint . You need the strength and resilience to support you child in long run so preserve it. Take time out for yourself, engage in hobbies, become a part of parent-support groups  and ask for help and support . It takes more than a village to raise a child on spectrum .

6) Spouse matters Too :- While you may feel a strong  urge to devote every minute of your waking hour to your child on spectrum, Other relationships shouldn't take a backseat, especially the one with your spouse. Your spouse isn't just a partner but a source of love, support and companionship. Some "We time' free from talks about your child  is essential. Be it a late night walk together or watching late night Netflix, chalk out that time. It will rejuvenate your relationship.

 7) Don't burn hole in your pocket :- When you get the diagnosis, all you want is to

make him " near-normal" . you are recommended endless therapies for most of which you have to pay out of pockets. One parent generally quits work or settles for a low paying remote work to take care of the child while other keep on building overtime hours to compensate for the financial loss. But the fact remains, no amount of therapies can magically take away your child's issues , so spending endlessly on therapies makes no sense. Never go over budget. More than therapies , a child needs a loving , caring and a supportive environment . Never let the guilt of not doing enough overpower you.

8) Find your Clan :- Look Out for local support groups and  fellow moms who are sailing in the same boat. You and your child  will find your  best friends there. They will help you navigate the hardest times with their words of wisdom and experience , much more than a chat with a relative, doctor or a therapist. 

And above all, I really wish I knew back then that I would become a connoisseur of Meltdowns, a Sindbad in sailing through the sensory storms ,a detective of non -verbal cues😄😄 and a Joy enthusiast who orders pizza on smallest of victories...





 



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